When you think of someone being nervous about getting on an airplane, you probably think of extreme examples. Someone is having a panic attack as the plane rolls down the runway, screaming and trying to claw their way out of the plane, perhaps. But flight anxiety affects people to different degrees, some worse than others.
Maybe you’re one of the lucky ones who have no trouble getting on an airplane and find that race down the runway exciting instead of terrifying. But what can you do to support someone traveling with you who might not feel the same way?
Prepare ahead of time:
● Discuss your flight plans with your nervous flier well in advance of the trip to help them get used to the idea. Let them choose whichever seat will make them feel most comfortable, and provide them with the flight details so they can mentally prepare.
● Don’t try to talk them out of their fear. While we are mostly rational creatures, fear is something you can’t be talked out of – it just exists. Trying to tell someone not to feel fear is invalidating and can make them feel worse. Acknowledge and accept the fear, then find ways together to manage it.
● If dealing with an extreme level of flight anxiety, consider calling the airline ahead of time to inform the flight crew that there will be a nervous flier on board. This allows them to make an effort to check in on them and help you keep them calm and feeling safe.
● Encourage them to read the in-flight safety material beforehand so they are confident they know the emergency procedures. You can generally find this online. This will also hopefully stop them from catastrophizing when the flight crew goes through the safety procedures.
● Pack things in your carry-on to distract and soothe your nervous flier. If in-flight entertainment isn’t an option, bring your laptop or tablet loaded with their favorite films and tv shows. Download podcasts or audiobooks, or meditation apps to help them remain calm in the air. Noise-canceling headphones are always a great idea on a flight as well. Also, consider bringing sachets of chamomile tea, which can be calming.
On the plane:
● While a nice, relaxing glass of wine might sound like a good idea, alcohol can actually increase anxiety, so stay clear.. Coffee and other caffeinated drinks should also be avoided, as they’ll only make a nervous flier more jittery. Water and herbal tea are your best bet here. (Good thing you packed that chamomile tea, right?)
● Encourage them to talk to you about how they’re feeling, but be prepared to support them silently if they prefer not to speak. Everyone handles stress in different ways, so be alert but not overbearing.
● Making decisions – even little ones – while anxious can be difficult, so help them decide what film to watch, what snacks to have, and so on. Don’t treat them like a child, but do try to make things as easy as possible for them.
After the flight:
● Dealing with anxiety can be physically exhausting, so try to avoid anything too strenuous after you land. Allow for a couple of hours of downtime to recover, or plan gentle activities. Maybe book a post-flight massage?
● Be encouraging. Let them know how proud you are of them for doing something that scares them, and ask them for advice on how they’re feeling and if anything different can be done better next time.
A fear of flying doesn’t mean your friends and loved ones have to sacrifice their chance to see the world – it simply takes preparation, kindness, and compassion. Bear in mind, if someone has a deep fear of flying, it’s worth encouraging them to seek professional help if they wish to find ways to manage and overcome their phobia. (And if all else fails, you can always book a cruise…)
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